I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
