you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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