my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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