hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
