ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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