still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize