I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
