What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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