Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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