8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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