you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
