I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
