So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
