Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
