I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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