Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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