You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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