ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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