This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
