Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
