We're like a lot better than the average bears
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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