i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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