so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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