I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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