We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Someone shattered a urinal.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
