he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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