haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
