I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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