She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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