this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
True strength comes from lack of pants
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
