i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
