Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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