he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize