Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
