I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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