It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
