I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
