Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
