bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
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I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
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I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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