so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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