The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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