all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Life is so much better after having sex.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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