Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
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I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
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And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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