It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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