I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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