her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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