WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
