they need to just BURY HIM!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
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They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
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Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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