i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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