I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
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If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
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Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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