What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize