Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
