I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
