she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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