Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
