I don't think brook has ever known best
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
