What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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