I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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