another moral hangover. fuck.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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