if you like me you must not know who I am
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
