she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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