So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
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I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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