You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
kristin has been a bad kristin
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
