so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the day after is always just damage control
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
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Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
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2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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