hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize